Agile is like Communism

Communism can work. For a short duration, and with a limited number of like-minded participants, real communism can work (or at least appear to work). In most other cases, communism just doesn’t pan out.


When faced with the long list of failed communist experiments, hardliners will always say “well, that was not real communism”. Which is true. But when you consider the nature of man, there really are just two options “bad communism” or “no communism”. I prefer the latter.

Same goes for Agile.

Observing a jelled team that is firing on all cylinders, you’ll see that dogmatic adherence to “process” is not enforced. That there is a lot of informal communication (on the technical topics), and the tasks are broken down to manageable chunks with a clear scope. The team can quickly adapt to changes in the environment simply because it is  agile. Wouldn’t it, then, be nice if we could write down how these guys are doing things, and then apply it to everyone writing software?

Here’s where reality sets in.

Some people are simply not fit to write code, and some people are not fit to write specs.

It doesn’t really matter what process you follow, inept coders and managers will never be agile.

But they can do Agile.

I suppose the rationale is that the group eventually acknowledges that it is not being productive. Perhaps it has gone through some dead sea effect for some time, and there is increasing frustration with delays, shipping defects and surprising side-effects discovered late in the cycle.

Given two options: a) we are simply incompetent or b) there’s something wrong with our process. Most teams pick option b).

Agile’s pitch is that bad productivity is simply due to the wrong process. And this is true; for competent teams, the wrong type and amount of bureaucracy slows things down. Limiting needless paperwork speeds things up. But it requires competent and honest people and an appropriate type of project. You don’t find a cure for cancer just by doing a bunch of epics, sprints and retrospectives.

The bad team then picks up Agile, but never bother reading the manifesto, and the concept is applied indiscriminately on all types of projects.

Informal inquiries and communication is shunned and the them instead insist on strict adherence to “process”, because deviation from the process is “what lead to disaster the last time” the argument goes. The obvious contradiction between refusing ad-hoc communication and insistence on “following process” and the stated principles of Agile is often completely lost on bad teams.

The web is overflowing with disaster stories of Agile gone wrong (and now I just added one to the growing pile), just as history books overflow with stories of communism gone wrong. And for every story, there’s one where an Agile proponent explains why they just weren’t doing Agile the right way, or that a different kind of Agile is needed, like in this piece, where a comment then reads:

This insane wishy-washy process-worshipping religion is __BULLSHIT__ of the highest order. What you really need is a competent team that isn’t sabotaged by over-eager, incompetent management and hordes of process-masturbators every step of the way.

The Agile process will not fix problems that are due to incompetence. Competent, jelled teams, are probably already agile. Spend more time identifying what value each member brings to the team. Keep score. Cull the herd.