I’m a Luddite

Google and Amazon would like to place a sort of Peeping Tom on your house. You’ll pay for it, and in return it will turn your light on (when WiFi works), play music and order crap you don’t need when you yell at it. But most likely, it will hear when you tell your wife that your sphincter has been giving you grief lately, and the next thing you know, every page will pop ads for Preparation H (now it just pops ads for skin cleansers!?!?!).

I hardly go to the movies any more, and if I do, I sure as shit wouldn’t trust the Google Peeper to book the tix for me (there are several screens, not all are good, and in Denmark we have numbered seating and so there’s a lot of things that can go wrong).

The general direction seems to be to allow you to be completely passive except for the occasional yelling at your golem, but then – the next thing Google shows is a watch with a fitness tracker. So, you get this device that listens to everything you say, and does trivial things for you, and then you put on this other device that tracks where you are, and tries to motivate you to burn off those excess calories, that you’ve accumulated from sitting on your ass all day.

Some of the tech is designed to let you connect with friends and family, but the demo then shows an automated response to a picture of a bowl spaghetti (they say it can tell the type of pasta being served, which is probably a lie). I’m sure that the system, in time, will know that you are cooking linguini and autonomously send a picture of some linguini to you wife, who’s phone will then create an automated reply “yummy”.. awesome… I feel connected already.

 

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